Fetch me Bacon Sandwich, darling, I need to make a call!

You see – not a porky pie was uttered, I was telling the truth all along. Here it is, chaps and gals, the porcine telephonic wonderment of blue piggery! Isn’t it marvellous? I especially adore its curly tail. How dazzlingly modern! A bit of a blue point, though, is the way its knobbly bits rub against my ear – rather painfully! This is a most pesky aspect, but nothing an application of Hello Kitty ear-muffs and soothing Brillo Pads ear lozenge won’t fix!