The Classical Toilet

After arriving tonight at this here Media Popeye Cafe, I bent my steps in the direction of the WC and was absolutely staggered by the toilets therein.

On entering the cubicle, the toilet seat flipped up automatically - as if lifted by a phantom hand! - and a purple spotlight shone from under the rim, just like a theatre limelight pinpointing an empty stage and awaiting the actors. Then, violins, violas, and the sweet mellow cello struck up their bows and the sound of Mozart ... or Wagner ... or some classical genius, resounded in my lavatory! Oh, dear! Was a string quartet stuffed up the S-bend? Or was a sharp orchestral movement just waiting to burst forth? It felt like a scene from a Jane Austen novel, and I half-expected a dashing young gentlemen to enter and gather me up in his arms for a turn around the Grand Lav Ballroom. I was astonished! And when one considers what that spotlight is supposed to illuminate on the lav`s stage ... I nearly choked on my cigarette holder at the very thought!